A realist with a touch of optimism

I know I have been sounding like a sad sack but I promise there is more to me. My inspiration tends to come more from sadness rather than happiness, but I promised myself I would become better at solidifying my happiness by writing it down.

For starters, I have been offered a job that fits perfectly with who I actually want to be. There are still a lot of decisions to be made. In a year I have to decide what masters program I want to apply to. I want to be an educator, but I don’t know what side I want to stand on. Should I be the teacher in high school that helps students believe in their ability to go to college? Should I be the college professor that helps students believe in their ability to graduate? Should I be more on the administrative side and help educators become a better support system? There are too many opportunities, which is the greatest privilege I have ever had, to settle on just one. Could I do it all?

Secondly, my heart is racing. I am finally starting to understand myself more and more. I have walked away from so much this last year that for a moment there, I couldn’t recognize myself. I walked away from things, ideas, and people that I believed made me who I was. I now know that I can be myself in every environment. Yes, sometimes it’s not popular to be politically correct, but it’s who I am. I don’t want to hang around people that can’t understand, or better yet won’t understand, how damaging words can be.

The hardest was walking away from the idea that in order to be happy I needed a significant other. I now know I have more to offer than romance. (This sounds like a crazy desperate person, but I swear I’m not. Believe it or not, at some point whether consciously or subconsciously you have thought this too. Society, man.)

Third, my dreams are not far fetched. Yes, I tend to dream big, but then I automatically downsize them because I want to be practical or realistic. But I am here to tell you that no dream is too big. If you want to become a singer, a CEO, the president, etc., it is 100% possible. It really is up to you. The barriers you face will be overwhelming at times, but if you persist you can make your dreams come true. It’s a cliche for a reason. Now, to clarify, being “famous” is not a dream; that’s just wishful thinking. But if through your dream you become famous then how wonderful that your work is being recognized in such a big way.

Anyway, I’m excited because I have no idea where my life is going to take me. Sure, I have made plans, but I’ve come to realize that plans are always subject to change. TBD, really. All I can say is dream big and go with the flow.


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